Do They Make Good Wives?
There are a number of agencies that will provide almost any American man with a female in Russia who wants to come to America. After a few letters and telephone conversations one is usually ready to bring the Russian lady to America. If all is OK, one often gets married within a month or two of the arrival of the lady in America (or a day or two). The cost of a round trip ticket (it is necessary to buy a round trip ticket) varies from about $1200 to $2500. The agency fee is in addition to this and can be as high as $5000, but is often as low as $500.
The various agencies are the fastest, but also the most expensive. There are also simply writing clubs where by you can write to any number of a list of ladies. You could also put your own ad in a Russian Newspaper. There are American advertising agencies that know how to do this. If you go to Russia you will be able to find a wife in a week or two as there are thousands of women who want to come to America. So I won’t say much more about this end of it, since this letter is about Russian women.
I married two Russian women: We have only had free movement between Russia and America for about 5 years or so, so having married two Russian women was quite a trick, and not something I would do again.
To determine if Russian women will make good wives the first thing that one should look at is the Russian culture. One might think that any kind of up bringing can be over come. One often sees people from the ghettoes doing quite well in life, even when they were in the ghetto their entire childhood. However, I don’t think this is true of Russian women. I believe that they will never over come their Russian up bringing. The basic reason for this is simply that they don’t want to over come their up bringing, while those who come from the ghettoes usually want to change to get the better things in life that they desire. The Russian women think that the way they are is absolutely ideal, and it never occurs to them that there are better ways in life.
In 1992 I traveled to Russia where I met my first Russian wife. I spent several weeks in Moscow and traveled to a number of other Russian cities. I was invited to many Russian homes to eat and to stay the night. I was able to see the Russian culture first hand. They were anxious to show me how they lived. The Russian people now love Americans more than any other nationality. No matter where I went I was welcome. In restaurants where there were lines, I was always taken to the head of the line, if they found out that I was American. When I had occasion to go to the doctor, I was taken beyond the line to a private room for treatment (no charge for treatment and medicine). It was fabulous treatment for an average American who had never been a celebrity. I thought that maybe Russian wives might like me the same.
When I married my Russian wives it had never occurred to me to look at the differences in our cultures. Had I looked, I might not have been so impulsive. So let us look at the important cultural differences that will affect a marriage directly. In Russia it is unacceptable to show any kind of affection in public. Lovers do not hold hands in public. They do not put their arms around one another. Mothers and Fathers never hug or kiss their children except maybe on New Year’s night. But this is not really the problem, the real problem is that they are taught never to show affection and emotion.
In Russia there is no such thing as double beds. Husbands and wives never sleep together. Not even one family out of a thousand has double beds. All sleep in separate single beds. Russian women have never even considered sleeping night after night with a husband.
You have no idea how deeply rooted these teachings and customs have become. Russia is more like another planet than another country. No other country in the world are people taught to disregard affection and love like in Russia. For 80 years the communists controlled Russia. No one was safe. All were taught that they must tattle tale on one another about anything that was wrong. A wife could tell on her husband, if he wasn’t doing something right. Quite often he would just never come home (he was shot). To lose a spouse in Russia wasn’t the same as here. The government paid for everything. If the husband never comes home, so what, the wife still gets paid. Children were encourage to tattle tale on their parents. If they said something that was not acceptable to the KGB, the parent simply didn’t come home (again, they were shot).
Love in Russia really became extinct. I know, we say love is a natural thing and anyone can fall in love. That may be true, but in a society that does not recognize love as valuable, one soon learns to take care of himself and to not get too close to anyone. One must be careful not to get to attached to someone, one day he might not return.
When the KGB was closed less than 10 years ago, the reporters were shown into the KGB building. In one large room in that building was a list of 10 million Russians that had been shot by the KGB. These people were simply listed as “Enemies of the State.” None were given a trial of any kind. The person at the local KGB office simply said, “Shoot this guy,” and he was shot. It wasn’t even a hearing. Someone tattled on his neighbor for any one of a hundred things and the local KGB shot him. The idea of course, was to make the society a better place, but it didn’t work that way.
So how does this all affect Russian women. Well they are trained from birth to not show love and affection. They know that showing too much love could even result in being shot. To love someone who doesn’t come home one evening can break your heart. Best not to love much at all. Russian women often talk about love, but unfortunately and sadly, they do not know what love is. They will certainly never demonstrate their love with kisses and hugs. They might for a few days, but never for any period of time. They don’t even like kisses and hugs.
I met many Russian women in Russia. In fact, during my stay there I constantly had at least two Russian women with me and sometimes three. They were easy to meet once they knew I was American. They were anxious to please. They even asked me for sex. The idea behind all the attention and sex was that they wanted to come to America. The Russian woman that I finally brought back with me did just that. She pretended that she just couldn’t resist me. She told me she wanted me and then went with me to my hotel room. Others did the same.